the life of a cook

I usually just put up all my happy thoughts on this blog.

I wanted to take a moment and be fully honest.

I'm having a tough time right now. I work hard...which means that sometimes I want to play hard. Dec and Jan were not great months for me. They were professionally speaking but, personally, I was getting wasted many nights. Crazy hangovers up until I had to go to work at 2:30, 3 pm the next day. I was paying a lot of money for cabs several times a week. I'm still working on that one. Because I get lonely/need company after work/want to talk about my day with someone after work, and who better to listen to me than my coworkers--ppl who actually understand what I'm going through as well as the demands this industry makes on those who are crazy enough to be a part of it.

I love my job but let's be honest. The guys on the line drive me nuts sometimes. And I've been a miserable bitch at work because of it. I've hit my saturation point of listening to gross, dumb, boys' locker-room humor. Sometimes I wish everyone would just shut the fuck up so I can focus. I'm the only girl on main courses and I'm sandwiched between guys, and sometimes I can't bear it. And my boss had to yell at me about it and give me a talking-to. Because I needed it. Because no matter what, attitude does not belong on the line. Not when you have to be a team player and work well with the people around you. I don't want to be that negative person that drains all the positivity out of the people around them...but I've been that person. I'm trying to turn it around though. Because it makes me miserable, it definitely affects the people around me, and most importantly, it doesn't make doing a difficult job any easier.

I've been having long, horrible, protracted fights with my boyfriend everyday for the past 4 days. Every time I think we have things smoothed over, it begins all over again the next conversation we have with each other.

I haven't showered in over 2 days. (But I will today, promise.)

Because I've been too busy fighting with my boyfriend.

I don't eat enough food. I don't get enough sleep. I don't make enough money, so every attempt to have some quality of life (booze, dinner with friends, hanging coworkers...which sometimes leads to cab rides, retail therapy), results in making me poorer. I went over my daytime minutes by over 500 minutes because I need to talk with my long distance boyfriend during the day because it's harder for me to talk to him after I get off work...and am getting thoroughly charged for it.

I feel like I am barely making ends meet.

But I am trying to cultivate better habits. Because living like this is not sustainable. I've been cooking more meals, drinking less, going to bed earlier, taking less cabs, and trying to be more productive in my free time (aka reading books, journaling, cooking, or just relaxing before I go to work). I need to save more money...so I can indulge when my bf comes to visit me in April, and so I can visit him in India some time in the summer.

Heading for that shower...and then getting ready to work again.

Restaurant month couldn't be over faster. (Yes, my restaurant does it for a month, not just a week.) Oh yea, and if you bought a Groupon, that will be expiring some time in April.

Here's a tip. PLEASE...I implore you, to redeem your Groupon before the last week that it expires. It's hell for us, and quite possibly some of the busiest weeks I've spent at the restaurant. People always ask me when is a good time to come to the restaurant. Here's the answer....NOT on the busiest days of the week...aka Saturdays at 7 pm, major holidays, the week before Groupon expires, any prime times during Restaurant Week. If you go to any restaurant earlier on in the week when it's not dead but not too busy, you will get a much better experience. We'll have the time to take more care with your food. Service will be better. Come during the biggest clusterfuck moments, and I have no guarantees. We try our hardest but there's only so much you can do when you have 20 tickets fluttering on the board, 11 burgers, 4 steaks, along with everything else going up at the same time, limited number of backwaiters and servers, and 20 more tickets coming in. Think about it.