This is America...so SPEAK ENGLISH: "I'd like a...

...Wiz Wit', please."

Translation: "Philly cheesesteak smothered in Cheese Wiz wit' onions"

You stand in a long line that wraps around the building. When it's your turn, you step up humbly to the window and order the cheesecake of your preference. To speed the order process up, you must use a sort of vernacular shorthand, aka you must "speak English." If you mess up, they get annoyed. (If this sounds familiar, you might be recalling the famous Soup Nazi episode on Seinfeld.)

BEAST.

That's me (see above), one happy camper enjoying my wiz wit' in all its gooey orange synthetic cheese splattered glory.

My signature stirfry:

Fennel, scallions, onions, butternut squash are your friends.

Lemon Cream Pasta w/ Broccoli and Kielbasa



1/2 box of bowtie pasta
1 crown broccoli cut into florets
1 cup chicken stock
1 1/4 cup light cream
the zest of 2 lemons (I used juice of 1/2 of a lemon)
2 small yellow onions diced
1 rice bowlful of diced kielbasa
2 stalks scallions diced
2 cloves garlic minced finely
1/4 tsp (a little less actually) dijon mustard
1 cup grated parmesiano reggiano
salt, pepper to taste

I had been craving a rich creamy lemony white pasta dotted with bright green bites of broccoli and salty smokey tidbits of pink sausage.

Here we go.

Fill a large pot with water and salt generously. Boil pasta according to direcitons on box. (about 10-13 minutes) Keep an eye on your pasta while you prep everything else. When pasta is al dente, drain water reserving some of the starchy pasta water in case your cream pasta needs something to moisten it up later.

1) Fill small sauce pan with water and salt. Meanwhile, wash broccoli, cut into florets and set aside. When water starts boiling, add broccoli. Blanch for 1-2 minutes:broccoli should be brighti green and still a bit al dente. Drain water thoroughly from pot. Drizzle a little olive oil into pot, turn on high heat and throw in half of the minced scallions. Cook for 1 minute with scallions, turn off heat and set aside.
2) Dice onions, mince garlic, scallions.
4) Saute diced kielbasa on high heat til slightly burnished and set aside. Add additional olive oil to pork fat in saute pan. When pan is hot, throw in onions and saute til translucent, add garlic and saute til golden.
5) Pour in 1 cup chicken stock + 1.25 cup cream + lemon zest. Allow to bubble and reduce to low heat. Simmer cream sauce. Stir in 1 cup of grated parm.
6) Stir in kielbasa + broccoli + dijon mustard. Add salt and pepper. Start by adding 1/8 tsp salt and adjust to taste.
7) Pour cream sauce into pot of al dente pasta. Stir to coat pasta with sauce. (Cook for a little bit to reheat the pasta and combine all the flavors.) Grate additional parmesan on top.

Eat.

Lemon Yogurt Cake (courtesy of Ina Garten)

Here is the recipe w/ some slight modifications:



(1) Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease and flour a loaf pan. Set aside.

(2) Sift and whisk together into a medium sized bowl:
1 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp kosher salt

(3) Whisk wet ingredients in large mixing bowl:
1 cup sugar
1 cup whole milk plain yogurt (or low fat if you so desire)
3 extra large eggs
1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
2 tsp lemon zest (2 lemon's worth)
1 generous squeeze of a lemon half (to make batter even more lemony)



(4) Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients in increments and whisk slowly to combine. Do not overmix. Little lumps are fine.

(5) Pour 1/2 cup of vegetable oil--fold into batter with spatula/giant spoon until incorporated into batter. (I used less than 1/2 of a cup of extra virgin olive oil bc I didn't have veg oil on hand)

(6) Pour batter into loaf pan. Place on baking sheet (in case of spillage) into oven on the middle rack. Bake for 50 minutes (until cake tester comes out clean from middle of loaf).

(7)While cake is baking...make the glaze:
Cut the 2 zested lemons in half, and juice 1/3 cups of lemon juice (approx 3 lemon halves) into a small bowl. Strain out the seeds. Heat lemon juice w/ 1/3 cup sugar over low heat in a small sauce pan til mixture is clear/sugar has dissolved. Set aside

(8)When the cake is done baking:
Allow to cool for 10 minutes. Poke holes all over top of cake and pour the lemon/sugar glaze over the cake and let it soak in.

Enjoy!

Keeping It Real Simple (never tasted so good)

Bastardized Bowties a la Vodka

reheat below described fresh tomato sauce and add tablespoons of light cream and vodka til desired level of pink creamy boozy goodness. simmer til reduced a bit. add leftover bowties cooked from last night and reheat.

be good to yourself





































Bowties + Tomato Sauce

dice 4 vine-ripened tomatoes
dice 1/2 yellow onion
mince 3 cloves garlic
canned crushed tomatoes (to give it a more sauce-like consistency)
fresh grated parmesan (as much/as little as you want)

Oil in pan, add onions--cook til translucent. Add garlic. Season w/ 1/8 tsp coarse salt, ground black pepper to taste. Continue cooking til lightly golden (be careful not to let garlic burn). Add diced tomatoes. Simmer til tomatoes broken down, liquid slightly reduced. Stir in crushed canned tomatoes til mixture is a good saucelike consistency. Add handfuls of grated parmesan to desired level of cheesiness/saltiness.

Boil water while making sauce and cook pasta according to package instructions til al dente.

Toss bowties w/ sauce.

Keep it simple.

Butternut Squash & Pork
Raw materials:
-1 pork chop, sliced into long strips: marinate w/ heaping 1/4 tsp of cornstarch, soy sauce to taste, ground pepper, a dash of garam masala. stir and set aside
-thinly slice 1/2 of a butternut squash
-stalk of scallion minced, 3 cloves garlic minced, chop generous handful of cilantro
-balsamic vinegar
-coarse gray sea salt (sounds expensive but it's cheap from trader joe's)

Stir-frying is easy:
Heat olive oil, add half the garlic, let fry til lightly golden, add pork, stir occasionally as it fries til slighly golden brown. Set aside.

Add more oil to pan, remaining garlic. Then add butternut squash. Stir occasionally til squash is slightly translucent. Add scallions, cilantro, a generous splash (or two) of balsamic vinegar, 1/8 tsp of coarse sea salt. Stir to combine all flavors. Add pork and combine, allow to reheat for a bit and then you're done.

Side note:
In awe of foodbloggers (I don't consider myself one..I don't approach this blogging business with enough--or any--focus) who constantly challenge themselves with new and often complicated recipes. Or expensive, unusual ingredients. The miserly side of me is content to just go on buying cheap russet potatoes, bags of yellow onions, and other extremely basic ingredients. That's the nice thing about cooking. With the proper technique, seasoning, and imagination, you can transform humble ingredients into something beautiful and interesting. Something I strive to do on an extremely low-key scale. I do think that trying out 1 new and/or challenging recipe per week is economically feasible, though. Still combing through recipes.

I resolve...

To try 1 new recipe per week or perfect a recipe already tried.

And I will not post anything until I accomplish this 3 weeks in a row.

Something to think about in the meantime:

What would be the perfect Valentine's Day dinner/meal?

Palate Cleanser/App?:
-pummelo, grapefruit, tangerine salad w/ mint-sugar
-thinly sliced asian pear (or bartlett or bosc) w/ balsamic syrup and sea salt

Entree
-hmm...

Dessert:
-creme brulee napoleons (or maybe just plain creme brulee) w/ fruit
-vanilla bean pots de creme and chocolate cookies
-lemon curd tart